I started writing this about 2 weeks ago...I'll come back and add more when I learn more....


Well, I've had some time to read and educate myself a bit about my specific type of breast cancer - "triple negative" breast cancer.  I must say, I'm a bit scared about the words "rare", "aggressive" and "recurrence". 

I found this website:  http://www.tnbcfoundation.org/  which was founded by friends of a 35 year old woman who died 2 1/2 years after her diagnosis of triple negative breast cancer.  It is a very helpful website with the most information I've found so far.

When I first was learning about my situation, my head was spinning and didn't stop....I was teaching school....having multiple surgeries....taking care of my twins, and there was very little time to read about it....and then, I remember trying to focus and comprehend what I was reading, and I couldn't.  Now, I have some time, and realize that it is important that I educate myself because my type of breast cancer is more likely to recur and it is possible that I have a gene that puts me at high risk for ovarian cancer.  I will be requesting the blood test that will tell if I have the gene that puts me at risk for ovarian cancer...it is called BRCA1 and if I have that, my risk is 40-50%. 

I'm calling tomorrow to make an appointment with Dr. Brooks for genetic counseling that may (hopefully) lead to genetic testing.  I'd like to know if I have that gene mutation!

This category of triple negative breast cancer has only been (relatively) recently defined, and there is still a lot to learn.

On a more upbeat note, I've learned in my late night searching about eating healthier to give your body the tools it needs to stay healthy.  Sign me up for that! 

Here's some websites that appealed to me:
http://www.40bladesofgrass.com/

It Takes a Village - Very True!

Hi everyone,

I am beginning to realize that I'm entering a new phase of my treatment.

Here's what I mean:

• more fatigue...tiredness...weakness
• more tummy trouble
• new side effects, such as intense itching & swelling of hands at joints...which turned into a severe allergic reaction to one of my chemo drugs
• maybe a little bit o' depression sinking in....I'm fighting it
• I'm tired of wearing wigs and hats....so I'm going around bald more often.... :) 

So, what I'm getting at is that I need more help now than I have needed in the past.

Things that are harder for me now (during the first 8 days of a treatment) :

• dressing the girls or putting them in their pajamas
• given them a bath is absolutely exhuasting for me
• vacuuming
• feeding times are becoming more difficult

Here's the dates that I need to ask for help following my 4th treatment:

*I hope that two people could sign up for the same time because it is a lot more fun that way, trust me!

July 20 - Wednesday - 11:30 - 3:30  Thank you AF & KA!   3:30 - 6:30 Thank you LR and NC!
July 21 - Thursday - 11:30 - 4:30  Thank you KB and JB!  4:30 - 8:30 Thank you LE and TE!
July 22 - Friday - 12:00 - 4:00 Thank you KW and TN!
July 23 - Saturday - 12:00 - 3:00 Thank you TP!

*If you get sick or have a sick family member, please let me know before coming so that I can find a replacement for you.  Thanks so much!

I am so thankful that I have you in my life.  Having  people who are willing to come and help me means so very much to me.  I truly mean it and appreciate you checking my blog.  I hope to be able to at least pay it forward in the near future. 

Much love,
Angela

*Update - My severe (crazy, painful and ugly) allergic reaction is under control and diminishing as I type this.  They hooked me up and gave me IV steroids and benadryl along with a prescription steroid.  I was so impressed with Nurse Anne's quick response to my messages and being seen immediately.  They told me they hadn't seen a reaction to that degree before!  I felt very special.  Ha ha.  I generally do fall in the 'rare' category.

*Special Request - If you are praying for me, please put Charles' name in your prayers - ahead of mine!  He has so much to deal with....a bald wife....a weak wife...a wife who has gained weight.....a wife who can't wait to see him come through the door so he can help with the girls....an emotional wife.....all kinds of stuff like that.  I try to imagine what it is like for him, but I can't.  He seems to be doing fine, but some support for him would be awesome.  Thanks, y'all.

3rd Chemo Treatment

The night before my 3rd chemo treatment, I spent a lot of time researching my type of breast cancer, "triple negative" and learned some things that really caused me some concern.  I blogged about it but haven't posted it yet.....

Funny thing is, all those concerns were brought down many notches when a lady approached me as my friend, Sharon and I, waited at the reception desk.  This lady approached me and was saying kind things about my quilt, made by my teaching partner and friend, Jakki.  As I told her about it, she asked me how I was....and then shared with us that she was diagnosed with cancer in 2000 or so, and that it had spread to several (like 5) areas of her body.  She did EIGHTEEN MONTHS OF CHEMOTHERAPY.   I cannot fathom that.  She was there for her regular 4 month check up and was doing great.  She looked fantastic.

Well....my little 3.5" tumor....removed with clear margins.....faded again into the backdrop.

I was very thankful to have my college roommate and faithful, macaroni-and-cheese-makin', friend, Sharon with me.  She is a calm soul who has always been there for me......easy to talk to......sweet and hard headed.....I'm so glad she could go with me!

Me and Sharon....under our warm blankets!  Nice!

Sharon made sure that the nurses were doing things correctly..... :)

Pam, chemo-veteran, came to visit me during this treatment!
What a treat!  I know it isn't fun to come back into this place once you've finished.
She runs triathalons now.....mercy!  I'm so impressed by her!

My new, sweet friend, Norma! 
Thank you for your friendship and help! 

My sister, Ginger, came down from Massachusetts to help me with my three hardest days of treatment #3....and she did such a wonderful job.   She allowed me to walk around with my bald head....rest for hours at a time....while she tended to and loved on Macy and Molly.  She gave up time with her son and husband to come here and work hard to let me rest.  It was so incredibly helpful! 

Ginger worked so hard while she was here....selflessly doing anything I needed....
bathing two one year olds is exhausting,
and she did it with a smile and giggles!

Molly has been waving for quite some time now, but it also is her looking for a high five!
Daddy and Mary came to visit and were treated to a wonderful, huge, homecooked meal, thanks to
sweet Janette Smith.... and Ginger was able to visit with them for a bit, which was great.

Ginger was determined to make helping me a priority.....she didn't want to leave
or make plans to do anything away from our house....she even went with me to
take the girls to the doctor, which is HUGE HELP.....
I can't thank you enough, sis!  Love you

Summary of 2nd Cycle

Nothing exciting is going on.....just thought I'd post a summary of how things are going right now.  I'm nearing the end of my second cycle and it has been much like the first.  The difference is that I've felt more tiredness this time than last.  During cycle 1, I had a burst of energy that lasted most of the last week of that cycle. 

But, I'm so glad I've been able to take Macy and Molly a few places during the last week.  We went to the zoo and to a place called Edventure, with friends.  Those trips were a ton of fun. 

I'm very much looking forward to my sister coming in from Massachusetts to help me after my next treatment which is Monday, the 27th.  It is more than generous for her to buy a plane ticket so that she can come and help.  Thank you, sis :).

After this next treatment, I'll be halfway through!  Woo hoo!

Reasons it is Good to have Cancer.....

Today, I got a card from a dear friend that stopped me in my tracks and tears welled up as I read her words.  Many cards I've gotten have also had words that I've replayed over in my mind and have given me so much encouragement. I started thinking about all the love I've been shown since my lucky duck journey began.  I have been surrounded by loving words, actions, cards, meals, kindnesses of all sorts since sharing with my family and friends about my breast cancer.  As I drove along the road thinking about the words she wrote, I realized that there's a heck of a lot more good that has come from being diagnosed with cancer than bad.  And I truly mean that.

Here are SOME of the good things:

• Your loved ones pointedly express their love for you....
• The days that you feel good - you really, really appreciate those days and try to make the most of them
• You become a more appreciative person....and you become more aware of 'everyday' type things that you're glad to have around you
• You learn that your precious one year old daughters just plain love you.  You wonder if they're going to not like looking at your baldness...or if they're going to be hesitant...but, you learn that apparently, they're looking at your eyes and your smile.  Macy and Molly have not skipped a beat when it comes to recognizing me and being happy to see me.  In fact, I feel inspired to write a post about that specifically.  Those girls need to know one day what their unconditional love has meant to me and the lessons that they have taught me about that.
• I've learned that I married a man who truly meant "in sickness and in health"....and puts action behind his words. 
• You get to see your school/work family come together and wear pink to support your first chemo treatment....thankfully documented by your friend, the media specialist....a Pink Out! 
• Your students think about you in the summertime and request prayer for you at Vacation Bible School
• You meet many amazing professionals in the world of the surgeon's office and oncologist's office who are great at their jobs and you get to know some of them well enough to know they're great, kind people
• 0% of your time is spent on your hair....more family time
• You see a side of people that you may not get to see otherwise....
• You appreciate your life so much more....and you have a better handle on what the 'small stuff' is....

My girls and me at Riverbanks Zoo - June 15, 2011
They are so used to seeing my head in so many ways...bald....hats...wig....
They handle it beautifully!

Molly with Mommy's wig....doesn't she look AMAZING?  Ha!  Love it!!!!

Macy smiling so big!  This is a good look for her, no?  :)

My sweet hubby, who shaved his hair to show he's fighting with me!

Macy, trying on Mommy's pink hat

Molly's tired of having something on her head!

 

Thanks for reading my blog.  Thanks for being patient with me about not communicating and responding like I should to emails, voicemails, and messages.  I owe many, many, many people thank you cards that I hope to send sometime soon.  I promise I am very thankful.  These days are flying by!

Hope you have a great day!

Finally Going Bald!

On Monday, June 6, Charles set up a little kid friendly barber shop on our back patio in order to finally shave my hair.  I say finally because once you hear that you will be on chemotherapy, you start to try to envision what it will be like to lose your hair.  You slowly come to terms with it....and then you're ready to do it because your hair starts coming out in fistfuls and that can be kinda gross. 

I'm actually kind of glad to have to go through this process because now I know how much I like having short hair!  That is part of the silver lining.  I am already missing my short hair do....but had a great time putting away all the hair stuff in my bathroom...like my curling iron, flat iron, hair clips, hair brush, blow dryer...my bathroom counter has lots less on it!  Also, I've always been kinda jealous of people who had short hair and of guys because of how much less their shower/getting ready time is dominated by the hair part of the process.....I've always thought, "How nice it would be to not have to worry about your hair...".  Well.....  now I know!  :)

"Before"

My barber...my husband....my caregiver.....my friend....a good man

As Charles cut, I sang songs to the girls .... "You are my sunshine..." , "Zaccheus was a wee little man..." and "I'm a little teapot".  Charles was very careful and told me he loved me a few times and told me I was doing great.  :) 

Our little scene....

Now, back when I was taking ideas for new short hairstyles to lead up to me getting used to my hair loss, my good friend, Tajia, mentioned several times that she really wanted me to get a mohawk.  So, Tajia, this picture is for you!

Once I looked at myself, I wasn't as shocked as I had anticipated.  I guess having so much time to prepare for it mentally helped a lot.  But, don't get me wrong...it is a crazy thing to look at your reflection and see 'baldy baldersox' (another blogger's term).....especially when you've had long hair all your life, until recently. 

Checking out the look that I had tried to envision since I heard
sweet Nurse Daphne say the word, "chemotherapy".  Not as bad as I had thought!
See that scar above my ear?  That's from my big wreck back in 1996! 

I let the girls touch my head and see me up close and they didn't seem to think much of it.
That is one of the blessings in the timing of this event in my life, because
they don't understand and they love so freely & openly....and don't know to be
embarrassed by my drastic change in looks.

Macy, checking out my new look....

"After......."

Ok, so remember, I don't want my baldness and hair loss and chemo to be the elephant in the room.  I'm laying it all out there because I want to 'keep it real' as the young folks say.  Hope this post isn't too shocking for anyone.  Sharing these pictures helps me. 

Thanks in advance for your support and kind words!
I love y'all and I know you love me.
Thank you.

PS - As you know, Charles shaved his hair as well as a show of support....I'll post a picture of him soon!

Chemo Treatment #2 - Bloom Where You are Planted

In what seems like another lifetime ago, I was at a function at church where the pastor's wife was teaching a lesson on this theme, "Bloom Where You are Planted".  It made an impression on me and it has come to mind many times over the years.  It is a great way to try to operate, especially in times of not-so-fun circumstances.  It surely does help you to bloom when you surround yourself with people who are like you, my amazing cheering squad.  Who couldn't be uplifed and happily rooted when you have such kind souls helping you along?


Yesterday was my 2nd chemo treatment.  It is funny because I have been thinking that going to chemo for the first time is a lot like it feels to go to school for the first time.  I actually thought a lot about what clothes would be right....and then I knew I was a newbie and others would be able to tell...especially since I had all my hair.  But yesterday, I felt more like a seasoned patient.  I knew the drill.  Last time the lady at the desk looked at me like, "Oh this must be your first time" when I handed her my paperwork.  What you're supposed to do is put it in the appropriate basket marked "Labs" or "Treatment".  You do labs/bloodwork first so that they can determine if your white blood cell count is strong enough.  If it isn't, they send you home.  Yuck.  Can you imagine?  You get all geared up....you line up help from everyone in the free world with your babies, and then you get sent home to wait a week. 

Then, after weighing in and blood pressure, you are taken to your spot in Dusty/Anne's section...like at a restaurant :).  There were two seats available....and I chose the one closest to the windows and the paintings.  It was a cozy, corner location.  Perfect for me and my friend, TE, to chat!

These paintings were painted by my oncologist, Dr. Butler. 
He has them on display in several places throughout the building.
I thought Tracy looked very pretty perched in front of that painting.

This time, I asked Dusty, one of my nurses if there was a way to avoid me being as loopy as I was last time from the get go.  So she decided to give me 1/2 of my ativan at the beginning and 1/2 at the end.  That helped a lot.  Then I could stay more clear minded (relatively speaking) and carry on conversation.

This is Dusty holding a prized possession, autographed picture
of James Brown who I believe stopped by this facility at some point
during his health battles.  Dusty has a big party this weekend as one
of her daughters turns the big 1-3 !!

This is Anne who I want to look like when my hair grows back....
Isn't her hairstyle so great?  I am definitely a new woman,
I may never have/want long hair again.
Anne and Dusty treat you like just normal folks...and they're fun and lighthearted....
look at pictures of my girls and share stories about their daughters.

Please know that I realize for some chemo patients, their treatments cannot be viewed lightheartedly for many reasons.  I totally respect that.  I am so thankful that I was blessed to find this cancer early enough to have the mindset that I do.

Speaking of early detection ---- have you you done your monthly self breast exam?  Do it just so you can know what YOUR 'normal is'.  Since being on this journey, I have learned about 20 year olds who found lumps and needed mastectomy surgery.  I truly truly hope that I can play a part in helping someone find their cancer EARLY so that you can be a lucky duck!

Last Hair Days


Reading about hair loss due to chemotherapy, I learned that your scalp may tingle before the loss begins.  The tingling for me was more like soreness and sensitivity.  So, as I mentioned in an earlier post, a few nights ago, I started feeling the soreness.  Then, on Friday, strands of hair started coming out.  Not a lot, but more than just typical when I ran my fingers through my hair.  By Saturday, I could tell a definite increase in how much was coming out.  I thought I was ready for Charles to shave my hair that night, but I decided to wait until after my chemotherapy appointment so that I didn't make my public debut as a bald person at the same time as going in for my 2nd treatment.  So, our new plan is to shave it Monday night after we all settle back at home.  Charles is going to Charlotte to take Molly for her DOC Band appointment.  My friend, TE, is going to be my Chemo Chauffer.  :)

This picture was taken by Mrs. Hendrix at Beth and Wes' house in Hartsville.
Molly, Macy and I packed up and traveled to visit new little Bailee and take pictures.
My hair had really started to let go this day and I knew my new short 'do
was soon to be a thing of the past.



Our little family on June 4, 2011. 

I got an email from one of my former students today after she read my blog posts here.  Her words, like yours, were incredibly encouraging to me.  I owe many people 'replies' to emails and texts...and thank you notes, and other responses.  Please know that if you have left a comment here, I've read it several times and am so glad you're here with me in cyberspace.  I truly do savor your words, thoughts, prayers, and encouragment.  Don't stop!  :)  You're fueling my journey!

Much love,
Angela

Heaven for Chemotherapy Patients - "Becky's Place"

Charles had encouraged me to find a place where I could go and try some wigs on....so, I found Becky's Place (named after a lady who had ovarian cancer and who was a part of getting the funding behind this important community service).   Becky's Place is at Lexington Medical Center and is awesome!

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, when and if you know someone facing a mastectomy or chemotherapy/hair loss.....this is another great place to send them!   This is a beautifully decorated, wonderfully stocked, heavenly, treat you like a princess kind of shop where you can enjoy dealing with your hair loss.  Andrea and Angie were the ladies who helped me and not for one minute was I self concious or nervous or anything. 

This morning, I got up and wondered about my hair......it has kind of been like a quiet snow drift....a little comes out here...then nothing.....then, a little there....nothing big yet.   Then, I packed up our entire house and took the girls to KA's house who very graciously agreed to watch them while she had company in town and on the day before she leaves for the beach!  THANK YOU, KA, so much!

On the way to "Becky's Place", I called Ken and told him that Charles wants to 'plane' my hair....and then we'll come in to his shop on Tuesday evening and he'll take it the rest of the way down if needed....he'll have my headband ready then, too.

So, at Becky's Place, Andrea carefully listened to what I wanted and skillfully chose box after box of wigs....all very fun....all a little different!  I couldn't believe how much fun it was to try on wigs!!  You sit in a pretty little room with a beautiful vanity and they help you narrow down your choices. 

Doesn't look like much, but, the beginning of my hair loss.
One reason to get a short hair cut before you start to loose
your hair is because you don't want lots of long, long
hair everywhere.



Your visit starts with a nylon cap to hold down your hair....
Can you see all the boxes of wigs they have in stock?
They also can order a wig for you if you're not sure and
if it doesn't turn out to be 'the one', you do not have to pay!



Andrea started our search out with this many wigs!
She told me after each one to decide if it was one
that should go back in the box, or if it was go
on one of the three hooks.....

....and here are the three that made the cut to go on the hooks....
but, alas, I didn't choose any of those.
Most of you know that I'm not
a very good decision
maker.  But, when I
saw this one....

I searched no longer.

Just kidding! 

I have it narrowed down to two....and will go back and try them on when they come in from being ordered.  Then, I'll show you my new 'do!


Here's the link to get more information about Becky's Place:
http://www.lexmed.com/medical-services/womens-services/beckys-place.aspx

Any Day Now

My head is showing signs like I've heard I would feel.  My scalp is sore, mostly on top, and I guess I'm feeling the tingling....mostly, though, it is sore. 

I wonder if I'll wake up and find hair on my pillow......

Tomorrow I'm going to shop for wigs at "Becky's Place" which is in Lexington Medical Center.  I stopped by there the other day and the ladies couldn't have been any nicer.  They have ordered the wig I think I want...it is called "Eva", and if it ends up not being right for me, they'll just keep it in their stock...I don't have to pay for it!  That's so nice and takes the pressure off a bit.  They have a huge stock of wigs just waiting to have a dome...I mean a home.  Ha :)  I am very much looking forward to my time there.  I'm glad that I can try on wigs and get a better idea of what will look best.  My friend is watching both my girls at her place - thanks KA!!!  She'll have an adventurous morning for sure! 

Website for Becky's Place:  http://www.lexmed.com/medical-services/womens-services/beckys-place.aspx
"A Specialized Boutique" - they have not just wigs, but scarves, mastectomy related items, etc.

PS - Chemo is quite the motivator!  I got a ton done today knowing that once Monday comes, I won't be able to accomplish much for the next two weeks or so.