The Eve of my Last Treatment

My mind is just a goin' goin' goin'. 

I've heard that when you finish your chemo, it can feel like you're walking off a cliff.  I can imagine that to be true.

Tomorrow's my last treatment, so right now, I'm feeling really excited that the end of chemo is near.  I look forward to thanking my care team tomorrow for a job super-well done.  My Dad is going to come to meet Charles and I at the end of the treatment.  I look forward to ringing that bell!

I did read a few websites today that leave me with mixed emotions.  This one, http://www.medscape.org/viewarticle/719468 , is one of the more encouraging ones because even though it says Triple Negative Breast Cancer is more aggressive and brings a less positive prognosis....the odds basically are 77% that I won't have an early recurrence, which is now my biggest fear in life.   I will never forget reading that survival time for a person with TNBC after an early recurrence is an average of 9 - 17 months.  I couldn't see straight for a few minutes after that.  That helped to ensure that there will never be a day that I won't think about the chance of recurrence.

Another thing I looked up this morning was to find out if my suspicions were right that I don't qualify to take what some people call "the cancer pill" like many people do for 5 years after their chemo treatment.   It is called Tamoxifen....and since it involves hormone inhibitors, and my cancer is not hormone fed, I will not get that extra protection against recurrence.  (Another added security/treatment that some receive is herceptin...but again, Triple Negative cancer doesn't respond to this therapy.)

So, once my radiation treatments are over, it will be up to me to do the only two things there are to do to increase my chances against recurrence.....exercise and eating healthy.  I'm saying this "publicly" so that I can feel more accountable.  Changing long time habits and creating new ones is not as easy as writing about it!  :)

I desperately want to be here as long as possible with Macy and Molly and Charles and my friends and family. 

On this eve of my final treatment, I'm also feeling very lucky.  I truly mean that.  So many cancer patients endure so much more than just 6 chemo treatments and radiation.  I truly respect the incredibly difficult journey that some have to endure.  

Thank you to each of you who read my blog.  There's no way to measure what your support means to me.  I couldn't be a lucky duck without you.