My First Days Back at Work

Thursday, September 8, was my first day back at my teaching position.  I teach 5th grade Language Arts and Social Studies. 

I can't think of anything about that day that could have gone better.  I was able to get there early enough not to be stressed....my students greeted me sweetly....one sweet girl brought me two pink roses!  Another brought me a handmade card.  Teacher friends came down to my room to welcome me back....one even had prepared me a ziplock bag of chocolate and a note of encouragement to get me through the day!  So many kind words were said...and like another friend of mine predicted, it was like putting back on a glove.  The fit felt good, comfortable and I was glad to be there.

As comfortable as I am with my bald head, I have thought long and hard about how to handle it when I returned to school.  So, my plan was to wear hats because I can easily take them off and put them back on...as compared to wearing a wig.  But, I wanted to prepare my students for the eventuality that they'd see me at some point bald...due to hot flashes, etc. 

Before we could get to that conversation, though, one of my students asked me if she could talk to me in the hallway.  She said, "I'm not trying to be rude.  But what happened to your hair?"  :)  I smiled and told her that I'd be talking with them about that in just a little while, but basically, I took some strong medicine this summer that cause it to stop growing. 

When we were able to get to that conversation, I tried to remember that they probably didn't need or want to hear tons of details....so, the main points I made were to say that yes, I had cancer....the doctors removed it all....I took chemotherapy medicine this summer.....and was finished with that.  Then I explained about why your hair falls out....and that I was totally ok with how my head looks, but that I'm excited that my hair is already growing back in....I told them that in a few minutes, I'd show them what I looked like without my hat, and that it was ok if they thought it looked ugly, or wierd, or just had no opinion at all.  I told them that I was sure their parents had taught them to be kind, but, just in case, I hoped I could help them learn that seeing someone who looked different was alright.  But, by that point in the conversation, I felt like we had reached this crescendo point and when I took my hat off it was going to be too dramatic....so, I told them that when I took it off....just to ease the worry of how they'd individually respond, that I wanted them to just clap...that would keep their hands busy and level the field of reactions.  :)  Plus, hey, that's kind of fun for me.  So, they handled the big reveal just fine.  I told them that some of my friends had asked to rub my head and that they could if they wanted to....and a few did.  :)

I was amazed that when I got home, I still had energy left!  We even took a walk after supper, which was great...by the end of the walk, though, I was literally dragging!  My legs felt like lead.

The next day was great, too...and it was Friday!  For the first time, though, I heard someone make fun of my bald head.  It was one of the younger students at our school who was playing on the playground after school.  I was working at my desk and she could see me through the window.  She ran back and forth talking about "the bald lady" and brought others to see me.  I must admit, it was a bit of a small sting.  But just a small one...and a reminder that it is important to help children understand.....lots of things.   That is one of the reasons that I like teaching....to try to shape young minds....and a big reason I wanted to have children of my own.  My friend, Tajia, who is so very supportive, said the other day that she thought I was doing a service to the school by walking around bald....(which I'm only doing in my little room and neighboring rooms).  But, I do hope that I help to make the next person feel comfortable walking around comfortable in their 'skin'.