Radiation - 10 days into it

Radiation treatments are really fast and no big deal, really.  The annoying part is driving over to the treatment center every day.  That gets kinda old.

Yesterday, after my 9th treatment, I started feeling pain in the radiation area.  It doesn't seem like a burning feeling.  It is surprisingly similar to the feeling that I had which led me to find my lump.

The technicians who run the radiation machines could not be any nicer or more pleasant.  It makes the time there much more human feeling. 

The whole facility really gets into the Halloween spirit!  There was a redneck windchime and the nurses and staff dress up in costumes or wear pajamas to show their festive side.

I had blood drawn yesterday and I realized how long it had been since I'd been 'stuck'.  I don't miss that!

Hope all is well for you.  :)

No Description Needed

A Memory for a Lifetime

Last week, my Principal asked our whole school to do a "Pink Out" in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  We were all supposed to wear pink on October 14.  So, a few days before that, I talked with her and our Media Specialist about possibly using this day as a teachable moment through our "Morning Show" that is broadcast throughout our school.  I wanted to go on the Morning Show and talk a little about cancer and baldness, etc.

I brainstormed with my good friend, Betsy, and we came up with the idea of an interview format.  We brainstormed questions and put our feelers out with a few teachers to see what kind of questions we should include in our brief segment. 

Betsy did an awesome job interviewing me.  We discussed eating healthy and how important it is to exercise.  When we got to the question about "Why do cancer patients wear hats?"  I answered the question by saying that sometimes it is because of it being cold outside....sometimes it is because you don't want to shock everybody who sees you....(recently, at the doctor's office, a little girl screamed when she saw me)....and sometimes you just feel like you look better in a hat. 

At that point, I took my hat off and said, "This is what a cancer patient may look like while they're going through treatment."  Betsy rubbed my head - I loved it - and I explained that I was going to not wear my hat all day at school that day and invited the kids to rub my head (to reduce fears, etc)....I told them if they saw me in the hallway to just lift up their hand to show me they were interested and I'd lean down an let them rub my head. 

Our Principal finished the segment by challenging and inspiring the students to study hard because we need smart scientists and doctors to figure out the big medical questions that we face.  I loved that point!

When I was leaving the library and heading back to my room, I walked into the hallway that my classroom is on....and saw tons of students standing along the walls.  I thought, "Great...I've forgotten that we have a fire drill today."  And I started walking a little slower, more cautiously.  Then, applause erupted and I stopped in my tracks.  It was then that I realized that they were standing there for me!

(Tears are flowing as I'm typing this.)

Many of you know that I've become an absolute Summa cum laude in the holding-back-your-emotions department.  But, at that moment, I was so overwhelmed/tickled/touched/wow-ed that I bent over and started crying.  While I was bent over, I thought about stopping the tears and suppressing the emotion, but I purposely chose to take the time to actually feel this moment.  I knew it was incredibly precious and I wanted to truly feel it.

My friend, Tina, came to me and said, "C'mon..." and guided me into that sea of 4th and 5th graders.  I decided to bend over the whole way down the hallway and let anyone who wanted to feel my head to do so....and many, many did.  As I walked, I squeezed Tina's hand so tightly.  She's a precious person and has been through quite a bit with her youngest son, and I was glad she was with me.  As we walked, I heard one of my teacher friends say, "You don't even know how brave you are."  That meant a great deal to me.

If you look in the distance of this picture, you can see
that the line of kids goes allllll the way down
to the end.  Pretty amazing!

My tears rolled as we made our way down to the end of the hallway where my classroom is.  I stood up straight and looked around and saw tears in the eyes of every single adult.  My teaching partner and friend, Jakki, thought quickly and grabbed her camera to capture this moment.  I'm so glad she did.

Later in the day, I found out that the idea for this sweet, huge gesture came from a teacher and friend, Amanda.    I hope I've fully expressed to her that this memory is one of the biggest treasures that I have. 

I work with some amazing folks!  It is because of all the love that is sent my way that I can walk around with a bald head and go on the morning show and handle this time in my life as a bump in the road.

Much love to you all.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

During October, you see lots of fundraising efforts going on for Breast Cancer Awareness.  I recently posted about a local softball team who participated in a Breast Cancer Fundraiser type tournament.

Last Saturday, I took the girls to Lugoff Elgin High School's gym because our beloved Mrs. Tanja (who watches the girls) invited me to come.  Mrs. Tanja along with a few other folks worked very hard to make this tournament a successful fundraiser for the cause of breast cancer.  When I walked in the gym, there was pink everywhere....a banner for survivors to sign.....pink cupcakes.....a table with a huge variety of items to buy for the cause (many HAND MADE and HAND CRAFTED by Mrs. Tanja --- mom to four very active children!!).  I was even pinned with a pink carnation to signify that I was a survivor!  I was so encouraged to see people come together to raise awareness and funds for this cause.  This was a tournament for girls volleyball teams and I hope there are pink memories embedded in their minds now. 

As I mentioned quite a while back, my type of cancer (Triple Negative Breast Cancer) is newly understood and differentiated from other cancers.  So, that being said, there is a very limited amount that they can do for you if you have a recurrence.  The 5 year cancer pill (Tamoxifen) that many people take after their chemo treatment, for example, isn't effective for triple negative cancer. 

It struck me the other day how glad I am to see those pink ribbons on everything from yogurt to tennis balls in the store to billboard signs along the road.

So, I am very thankful that money is being spent to fund continued research.  Susan G. Komen for the Cure recently funded a major effort specifically for Triple Negative Breast Cancer research.  So, you can bet, when I see that symbol on products, I'm more apt to buy them.

What is Radiation Like?

I've finished my first week of radiation and it has been no big deal at all.   I realize that over time, my skin may start to have reactions and I may feel fatigue, but, so far, so good.

So, the steps leading up to the actual treatments are to have a 'marking' appointment and then a second 'marking' appointment.  After the 1st one, I left with 3 marks.  After the 2nd appointment, I left with lots more...and they come up high enough that they show if I wear a V-neck shirt...which stinks because I already have so few clothes that fit and now, that stash is whittled down further. 

The marks they make on you are in blue paint pen, then covered with transparent adhesive circles.  Macy and Molly really like the marks...they touch them with their little pointer fingers and laugh.  That makes me smile and turns an annoyance into something positive.

So, what is it like when you go in for a radiation treatment?

• You put on a gown in the ladies' dressing area and have a seat while you wait to be called over the loud speaker.
• When they call your name, you walk back to the area where the radiation rooms are and sign in with your technician (they are very kind, by the way).
• You lay on a machine and the technicians adjust your body so that it lines up with the marks....they tell you not to help them which is funny because you feel compelled to....
• Then you lift your arms above your head and hold on to two handles...they bind your feet with a large rubber band.
• The first three days of your treatments take a little longer because they do x-rays before doing the treatment...but then, once those are done, when you go it is really fast!  (Like 5-6 minutes)
• You resign yourself to 'letting it all hang out' just like when you have a baby or go through other treatments.  You're laying there exposed and on camera (which is monitored by your technician) and you just give in to it.
• From what I understand, I'll have x-rays maybe twice  week...and on Mondays I'll meet with the doctor to review my bloodwork....the bloodwork is taken on Thursdays....haven't had any of that done yet.

As I wait each day for my name to be called, there is another lady who is in the waiting area....her story confirms my feelings that I have had a relatively easy time with my treatments.  She, too, has triple negative breast cancer.  Hers was Stage 3 and had gone into her lymph nodes.  She had a mastectomy...then 6 chemo treatments (at 3 week intervals) and then she had chemo EVERY Friday for two or three months.  Now, she's having her radiation treatments.  She has had about 20 or so and says that it has begun to really irritate her skin.  She's a positive person who works on a college campus and is trying to get the word out to the young ladies that they, too, need to be proactive with their health.

One of the technicians who does my treatments told me the other day that she had breast cancer and went through chemo and radiation there at her own place of work.  She said that it changed her in many ways and now she truly knows what it is like for the patients who lay on the treatment table.

And lastly, I finally got to meet one of the ladies I've been messaging back nd forth as she found out about her breast cancer.  She and I work in the same school district and have become friends.  She's got a heart of gold and it has been nice to have a buddy to go through this with!

Thankfully, my Pricipal and teaching partner are working with me and helping me so that I can leave work on time to make it to my appointments each day.  I leave school before dismissal in order to make it to SCOA for my 3:15 appointment time.  Thank you both!

Martina McBride's Song

I just watched Martina McBride sing this song and, of course, tears came to my eyes.  It made me first think of Charles and how he has been by my side and stayed faithful during this scary and new territory we've forged together.  Then, as she continued to sing, I had flashes of my friends and family who have - and continue to be - my strong supporters.  Tears are flowing now, too.  Thank you all.

Here's the lyrics to her song:

"I'm Gonna Love You Through It"

She dropped the phone and burst into tears
The doctor just confirmed her fears
Her husband held it in and held her tight
Cancer don’t discriminate or care if you’re just 38
With three kids who need you in their lives
He said, "I know that you’re afraid and I am, too
But you’ll never be alone, I promise you"

When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.

She made it through the surgery fine
They said they caught it just in time
But they had to take more than they planned
Now it's forced smiles and baggy shirts
To hide what the cancer took from her
But she just wants to feel like a woman again
She said, "I don't think I can do this anymore"
He took her in his arms and said "That's what my love is for"

When you’re weak, I’ll be strong
When you let go, I’ll hold on
When you need to cry, I swear that I’ll be there to dry your eyes
When you feel lost and scared to death,
Like you can’t take one more step
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.

And when this road gets too long
I'll be the rock you lean on
Just take my hand, together we can do it
I’m gonna love you through it.
I’m gonna love you through it.

Love this quote!

This goes out to all of you who have reached out to me during my cancer experience!

I love you....thanks for loving me!

October - Breast Cancer Awareness Month


 Well.....this month, I have been given lots of support in many ways.  One of the most recent and truly humbling ones was when one of the 5th grade students, Kayley, and her Mom (a former coworker) got in touch with me to let me know that Kayley's softball team was going to play in a Breast Cancer Awareness Fundraiser Softball Tournament in my honor.....and raise money for the cause in my honor! 

Kayley's Mom emailed me and said that the Coach wanted me to know that he'd like for me to join them in the dugout during the tournament, but the tournament was two hours away on a day that Charles had to work....so, knowing I couldn't handle that trip on my own....I asked if maybe I could talk to the girls before their trip to Spartanburg. 

So, Kayley's Mom and the Coach made arrangements and I went to talk with them at her house this past week.  I was totally blown away by the kindness shown to me and by the fact that they had put my name on the back of their Team shirt!  WOW! 



I talked to the girls for a while and several of the parents watched Macy and Molly for me during my talk.  The girls asked some great questions and the parents stood behind them, very supportive.  The Coach couldn't have been warmer to me...and they revealed how much they had raised ..... all combined, with the Coach sponsoring a whole additional team for that weekend, they raised over $400 for the cause of Breast Cancer!  I was thrilled to have this experience and hope that by the time these girls are young women, they will not need to worry about finding a cure for cancer.



Can you see my name on the back of Coach's shirt?
That's sweet Kayley to his left.



This group of parents and players along with their Coach will never know how much they touched my life. 

I am so thankful for this chance to meet such wonderful people.

Mrs. Dixon's Class

A colleague of mine, April Dixon gave me the opportunity last week to come and talk with her 1st grade students about cancer. 

April is a wonderful teacher who is loving and it trickles down to her students.  Her Mom just recently finished treatments for breast cancer and so she invited me to come and talk to her students to help them understand a bit and help them not be scared when they see a person who is bald or has other health issues.

I enjoyed talking to them so much.  Their questions were so great....like "how'd you get cancer?" and "did you scream when you found out?"  After talking for a bit, I sat on the carpet in the middle of them and took my hat off and invited them to rub my head if they wanted.  At that point, a precious little one had scooted over to my side and had her hand on my knee.  There's a special little man in that class who had already gone through cancer treatments at such young age.  He is a sweetie and his eyes just dance with youth and joy.



These students hug me every time they can...and I love it.  I think it is wonderful that April is teaching her students compassion in addition to reading, 'riting, and 'rithmetic. 

Radiation Appointment #1

Hi all,

Last week, I went for my "Set Up" appointment for radiation.  Basically, you get 'marked' so that they can prepare for your radiation treatments.  The marks are semi-permanent and you're told not to scrub that area or use soap there.  So, I have 3 blue "plus sign" shaped marks to help them align the machines.  They have you lay on a board that sends you through a CT Scan machine.  Your feet are bound with a giant rubber band, and your hands are raised above your head.  The scan doesn't take too long. 

This Thursday, I'll go for the "Simulation" appointment and then finally begin radiation on Monday, October 17.  I'll go for 33 times (Monday - Friday) which I think will take me to the beginning of December. 

I'm excited to finally get to meet one of my new-found friends who is having her radiation treatments at the 3:30 time slot each day....my time slot is 3:00...so I'm looking forward to finally getting to hug her! 

Soon, I hope to meet another of my new-found friends during one of her upcoming chemo treatments. 

Lots of wonderful people have come into my life as a result of my cancer experience.  Looking forward to meeting these two special ladies soooooon.

:) Happy Tuesday, everybody!

PS --- Don't forget to do your mammogram....and your BSE (breast self exam) regularly!