Little bit of Everything

Hi everyone,

I haven't posted in a while, so this one will be a mixture of all kinds of topics. 

Just fyi, my "A" key is sticking and so, I predict lots of missing "A"s.... :(

GENETIC COUNSELING
I met with the Genetics Counselor, Dr. Brooks, on Tuesday.  It was fascinating and she is fantastic.  I'll find out my results in about 2 weeks from Tuesday.   The 3 possibilities are:  Positive - meaning I have the BRAC 1 OR BRAC 2 gene mutation and therefore am at approximately 50-60% chance of having ovarian cancer and a very high risk of more breast cancer....mastectomy and ovary removal.    Negative - the opposite, but the downside is it leaves me wondering what caused my cancer and waiting to see if it strikes again.  And, drumroll please, there's a 3rd possibility that is called VUS "Variance of Unknown Significance" which means that there's something different about my genes but they cannot (yet) determine if it is a good thing or a bad thing.  Hmmmmm....I will be very frustrated if I get the VUS result!  But it kinda sounds like something that would happen to me and my indicisive self.

BALDY BALDY BALDY
A week or two ago, Charles and I went out to eat with dear friends and I struggled on the way there to decide whether I could go in the restaurant bald.  You see, I am very, very tired of wearing hats and my wig because of the heat and the constant hot flashes I have.  So, that night, on the way to meet at the restaurant, I literally to a hat on, took it off, put it back on, took it back off, trying to arrive at the place where I was able to decide not to wear anything on my head.  With Charles' support and encouragement, I walked in there bald, and my friends were totally fine with it....very sweet and kind.

The next day, I went to Wal-Mart and Kroger bald.  These experiences took all my might, but I am very glad I did it.  Most places, now, I go bald, and I'm surprised that very few people seem to even show that they notice.  I know they do, but it isn't obvious.  AND it would be just fine with me if people asked about my baldness....really.   I am hoping that one of the residual effects is that I can help pave the way for other ladies to feel comfortable - especially in the dog days of summer and in the land of heat flashes - going out bald in public.   There are ladies who paved the way for me....like Pam Britton, one of my breast cancer mentors, who has the cutest little pixie face (lucky for her) and ladies that I was almost afraid to look at when I first started going to the oncology center....as time went on, I started thinking and wondering if I could do that....and now, thanks to my friends and family not running in the other direction, I have come a long way.

I have some good memories to treasure of things people have said and them asking to rub my head.  :)  I would totally rather that than someone try to act as though they don't notice because, hello, I have a big ol' bald head.

FATIGUE
Mercy!  I am tired.  This go 'round has not let me get my energy back YET.  It probably has something to do with my taste buds affecting things, too.  I eat less when my taste buds are not working right...that lasted way too long this time....so, I look forward to more energy soon.  Aches have creeped their way in, which in my experience is odd for this time in the cycle.  I had a friend here to help and bring delicious supper last night.  She included requests for me in her blessing of the food and it was so nice to hear someone pray for me.  It reminded me that many of you are praying for me.  That is powerful, especially in the light of my new understandings about my type of cancer.   Later in the evening, she said that she had expected me not to have much energy, which called my attention to what I know all of us do, you just push on, doing what has to be done, even if you're dog tired.    That's something specific I'd love your prayers for....energy!  I can't wait to have it!

DADDY
Daddy continues to have a hard time seeing me bald.  I can imagine a bit of how he feels.  I think about if Macy or Molly had to tell me news about cancer, and then I watched them deal with the fun of chemotherapy, it would be indescribably hard, and I would want to go through it for them.   I know he feels that way, and I've had friends who have expressed that selfless thought, too.  I know there are many layers to what he must think and feel about this whole thing.

The other night when he stopped by with lots of vegetables and to visit, my knee jerk reaction was to go grab a hat...but instead, when he walked in the door,  I grabbed his hands and put them on my head and rubbed them all around my head.  I told him I wanted him to be okay with it and that I truly had come to terms with it.   After all, it is a temporary thing!  Hope I didn't traumatize him!  :)

YOU
Okey dokey, now, your reward for reading this blog entry is some FREE ADVICE!  Some is repeated from a while back.......

• Live in the moment today!  Enjoy what is right in front of you. 
• GET A MAMMOGRAM.  A friend of mine at lunch yesterday told me of her close friend whose breast cancer was found last year through a routine mammogram.  CAUGHT EARLY ENOUGH that she didn't need to go through chemotherapy (that was also due to other factors).
• If you have ovarian, breast cancer AND/OR prostate cancer in your family...especially if you have two different generations having any combination of those, MAKE AN APPOINTMENT with Dr. Karen Brooks at the USC Specialty Clinic - or your local brilliant genetic expert -  to have a conversation about your possible qualification for genetic testing. 
• When your annual enrollment period comes up at work, seriously consider adding a cancer policy.  Also, if you have the opportunity, like we do in Kershaw County School District, opt for a Flexible Spending Account which allows you to have pre-paid visa card with any amount you choose---I do my deductible amount----(taken from your pay divided by 24 times I believe).  I have been thrilled that I did that because I have a way to pay for the big chunks that help my family meet our deductible (which of course we do practically at 12:01 on the first day of the insurance period).  I can explain it more to you, but it has been a life saver, and I wish I had know about it earlier.  Thank you, Susan Elliott, for helping me with this!  YOU are  life saver!
• Do BREAST SELF EXAMS (BSE) every month to know what YOUR normal feels like....so that you will be aware if anything changes.
• Even 20 year olds get breast cancer.  Check into getting a mammogram.  Make it a habit to do BSEs.  
• The way to qualify to be a LUCKY DUCK is to be ON TOP OF YOUR HEALTH. 
• Sermon is now over.   Ha!

:) Have a great day.  Thanks for reading my blog :)