PET SCAN Follow Up & Chemo Education Class

It is so encouraging to me when people tell me they've been reading my blog.  Thank you for 'being here'.

Today I went to my follow up appointment with Dr. Butler.  I think the purpose of it was to discuss my PET/CT scan.  I asked how precise a PET/CT scan was....for example, could it detect cancer at a cellular level.  He chuckled and said there's nothing out there that can do that (yet), but this can detect cancer down to 5 mm in size.  That sounds good to me!

It was a very fast appointment.  He told me that I'd need to schedule a Chemo Education Class and then schedule my first treatment. 

I asked if it was possible to 'get educated' while I was there because it is difficult on everyone when I have to leave early from school. Thankfully, Mrs. Ann in the infusion department was willing to meet with me and tell me tons of information about the treatments. 

• 1st Chemo Treatment - May 18, 2011 (Yay for them letting me wait until after the girls' birthday!  One day after, but, still!)
• Treatments last approximately 4 hours - some of that time is vitals, bloodwork, fluids through IVs, nauseau meds, then the 2 chemo medicines
• Taxotere and Cytoxan are my two chemo medicines
• Get a shot on the day after chemo, each time, of Neulasta which helps boost your white blood cell counts.....this shot can be done at home
• She said that the day of the injection and the next day, I would feel fine...the 3rd and 4th day is when I'll feel the fatigue....and then I'll start to feel better gradually...the fatigue builds because just when you think you're starting to feel all better again, it is time for your next treatment
• There are several products they recommend for helping to prevent some of the side effects like "Biotene Mouthwash" and "Tea Tree Oil"
• She discussed the hair loss with me....she said it would probably be a gradual loss....she gave me a list of places to go and get fitted for wigs or to shop for hats, scarves, etc.
• Follow up with Dr. Butler to check my blood cell counts after treatments
• The Neulasta shot is intended to help keep your white blood cell counts up so that you're not so easily prone to catch colds, infections, etc.
• Drinking 2 quarts of water a day helps minimize side effects
• Eating protiens, fruits and something else (can't remember) helps as well
• Being active - taking walks - is encouraged during the treatment cycles

So, now I know the next time that I will need some help is Saturday, May 21.  It would be great to split the day into two shifts - maybe 9:00 - 1:00 and 1:00 - 5:00 - (Charles will be working) and have two people each shift come...to keep each other company...and have lots of hands for the girls..... so that I could take a nap when needed on that day.   If you and a friend are able to help me with my girls, please email me at thehappyclicker@gmail.com .... thanks so much!  I know it is weird for a person to put on the world wide web that she needs help...but it is for my girls' sake.  :)

PS - The Mammy Gram Challenge is off to a slow start - do you think we could have 5 people schedule Mammograms before I go for my first chemo treatment?  Sherry has scheduled one and posted it on the Mammy Gram Challenge entry comment area.  That's ONE....my goal is 5 for each treatment cycle.  Help me out, friends!  :)

Let it Begin....I need some help :)

Today, I had my port surgically inserted so that when I get chemotherapy, I won't have to have an IV everytime.  Recovering from this surgery has been harder than from my lumpectomy and I'm surprised by the level of discomfort.

So, here's my first public plea for help.  Tomorrow, Wednesday, I need one or two people who could come and watch the girls after school (starting around 4 or 4:30).  Charles will be home around 7:30 or 8:00 and I know I won't be able to handle the girls by myself.

If you and a buddy are able to come, please email me.  I'd love to have your help. 
Email:  thehappyclicker@gmail.com

Thank you :)

The Mammy Gram Challenge of 2011

Ok, now for a challenge!  Several of my friends have messaged me and said they'd scheduled their "Mammy Gram" (love the nickname, Amy!).  So, here's a goal I have set --- to help make my little journey reallllly feel like it is paying off. 

"Post a Comment" below once you schedule a mammogram for sometime this year (not that you intend to schedule it...but that you have scheduled it).....My goal is to have 5 people for every round of chemo I will be getting.....so, that is 6 rounds x 5 intelligent people = 30 mammy grams in 2011. 

You can remain anonymous or sign your name proudly! 

Please come back to this post when you can do that.  It will make me feel soooooooooo good and that great things are coming from my speed bump.

Advice - Free for the Taking!

If you are reading this blog, you're probably old enough to agree that you've been given advice in your lifetime that you wish you had followed.....but back when it was given, you thought....that's you, not me.

Here's a few nuggest of advice that I hope may help some of my loved one:

• Get "whole life" insurance now.  If you are healthy, it is less expensive.  Your children will thank you for it.  At the very least, get enough to pay for your funeral so that your kids don't have that burden.  Get it now before you have a serious diagnosis come up.  My cancer diagnosis came up right when I was at the pinnacle of my life...truly.  Charles and I have term life insurance (ends around 65 or 70).  Now, though, to insure me with a cancer diagnosis will be more difficult and costly. 
• If you have an option to add a supplemental "Cancer Coverage" (like we do in KCSD), do it.  I almost signed up for it last year.  I just didn't take the time to.  :(
• If you have done a self breast exam recently - YAY!  But, the tendency is to be proud of yourself for doing it and then forget about it for another few months or a year.  Why should you do one monthly?  Because you will start to know what your "baseline" or "normal" breast feel like, lumps and all, and then when something changes....you'll know it. 
• Did you know men can get breast cancer?  They can!
• Schedule your mammogram.  Call your gynecologist and let them know that you'd like to have your annual mammogram.  Different insurance will cover various age ranges, etc. If you want information about free mammograms, I will be happy to give it to you.  I'll post it here when I can.

PET/CT scan Results



This was shortly after I got home from spending my first night
away from the girls due to my 'radioactivity'.  :)

 I called to see if they were able to give me any results from the scan.  At first I was told it was too early.  Then I explained that the reason I had called the next day was because the scheduler of the scan said that I may be able to get results before the weekend.  So, the lady said she'd check with the doctor because there was no written report yet.  She called back just about 20 minutes later and said, "Mrs. McCall, this is Mrs. House.  The doctor said your scan was normal." 

Long pause.  I told her thank you in a shaky voice and cried as I drove home to see my girls.  Right after that, Charles called me to tell me that he had done as I'd asked and called to double check that it was safe for me to be with the girls, and he said that I had spent more than the time needed, even if I hadn't had as much fluids as they recommended.  I was already crying and he was saying those words to me as I was driving into the neighborhood.   I parked.  Left everything in the car.  And went inside to see my girls.

Now, this is the point in the story where Disney music plays and I scoop both the girls up in my arms and they smile so big because they are so happy to see me and missed me so much.

But, just like the difference between decorating the Christmas tree and the warm fuzzy visions you have before you're actually doing it.......I walked in....Molly didn't make eye contact with me .... she was too tired, I suppose.  And Macy was taking a nap.  So, I hugged on Molly anyway. 

I had a great afternoon with fun friend visits.  I felt like I was on cloud 9 the whole afternoon.

On Thursday, I go to see Dr. Butler and hopefully he'll elaborate on those scan results and explain what chemotherapy medicines I'll get. 

Next, I need to get moving on getting at least one wig and some hats/scarves, etc.....I want to be ready for the new me.  :)

Thanks for all your emails and comments!  Sometimes, I only have a chance to read them and then, duty calls with the girls.  So, please know I'm reading every every word....twice, actually....and I am feeding off your encouragement.  Much love to you!

PET/CT Scan Appointment

Summary of Appointment:

• Put your things in a nice little cozy room
• Go with nurse to lab to get your blood sugar checked & your IV injection of radioactive stuff
• Sit in that little cozy room with warm blankets over you...watch tv....read....drink a very strange smelling liquid to help the contrast be high in your images
• After an hour, go to the imaging room...lay on table....get directions
• CT image is taken in about 3 minutes
• PET scan image is taken in segments and takes about 25 minutes
• stay completely still
• nice technician tells you "you did great" and "flush twice" - ha!
• you get to leave!!
• eat whatever you want......TACO Bell was calling my name

The last 24 hours have been a roller coaster ride with lots of highs and some lows.  I'll try to make my summary short and sweet.  Last night, after the girls went to sleep, I got out my instructions for the PET/CT scan to be sure that I followed all the directions, as a good teacher would.  As I got to the 4th direction on the sheet, I realized I had reallllly messed up.  It explained that you shouldn't have carbs, sweets, fruits, etc. on the day PRIOR and the day of your scan.  Well, if they could have seen me shoving candied peach rings that Tajia had given me in as I worked feverishly to get stuff ready for my sub after school on Wednesday, they would have told me I had to wait about 24 days instead of hours to get my scan.   Sugar is apparently metabolized by cancer rapidly and they need you to starve your body of it before your injection.   Your radioactive injection. 

Anyway, I called and confessed my dietary sins to the scheduling person, Laura, and she checked with the imaging dept. to see if I should reschedule...they said drink tons of water and come on in.  So, as I was greeted warmly by Carolyn the nurse who would give me my radioactive injection, I confessed again and started crying.  I didn't see that coming.  She handled it beautifully and got me some Kleenex.  She began to tell me that I was blessed in  many ways and explained that they caught it early, etc.  I told her that I knew I was beyond blessed....my tears were largely due to being tired. 

I think another reason for my tears was realizing that I was starting the process and it became more real.  Having such strong strange things injected into you is just weird.  Also, as you walk to the places you're supposed to be in the building you pass others...some who look strong and healthy and some who look tired and weak....and you want to walk up and hug the women who have their baseball caps and have lost their hair.  Your first thought is that they look weak and you feel sorry for them.  But, I'm guessing that the truth is that they are STRONG.  They've been through a lot and have learned so much about themselves and this life. 

So, I share that to say that I know some of you have been worried that maybe I've been in denial or something because I seem to be more happy than seems normal :) and I guess today I learned that there will be dips in my roller coaster ride where I'll cry a good bit.  But, all the while will be aware of my blessings and all the voices out there telling me that I am loved and strong.  (Don't worry....I'm not letting y'alls words of encouragement go to my head too much....I know who I am and what my shortcomings are......your words of encouragement, though, are being stored up inside me for when I need them.)

What you, my friends and family, may not realize is that if I seem strong to you, it is BECAUSE of you and your support....your emailed words that I don't always get a chance to respond to....the words spoken in the hallway at school....the texts that lift me up all day long....the hugs and all the well wishes and cards and actions that show that I am a lucky duck!

Funny thing that happened is that I went to Kohls afterwards and heeded the directions to stay approximately 7 feet away from small children and pregnant women.  I just wanted to get Macy and Molly an Easter dress....but, because I kept having to move to a different area, I kept shopping and shopping and then when I was ready to go to the register....well, there would be a mom with a baby or a stroller and I would have to hang out waiting for the all clear.  So, I kept shopping.  Retail therapy can be quite an expensive trip if you're radioactive!

I totally fell apart in CVS as I was trying to pick up a prescription and Harry - yep, I'm naming you buddy - was absolutely, unbelieveably uncaring and rude and I just fell apart.  The short of it was that I couldn't wait for my prescription at the register because a family with a child got in line behind me....so, due to my 'radiant' state, I went to the far right area and asked if he could help me there.  Oh mercy.  Harry represented the folks in the world who must have not been shown kindness/compassion....and need to meet my friends and family and learn what kindness and compassion are all about.  The sweet, sincere woman behind me in line reminded me of all of you.  I wish I knew her name and address.  I probably would drive to her house to thank her.  She showed true compassion and caring immediately.

So, you see, I'm not so strong.  But what I am is blessed.  Happy.  Thankful. 

Your concern and your words of support feed my soul and will carry me through this journey.  In fact, as I took my slow ride through the PET/CT tube today, I played some of your words back to me. 

PS - My sweet ol' husband just delivered a salad to me in my radioactive bunker here at the Holiday Inn and when I apologized for leaving him alone with two babies tonight, he said, "Don't you worry about that."  I love him.

Today I Met with the "Chemo" Doctor - Medical Oncologist

I met Dr. Butler today....I liked him. 
Here's the summary of the appointment:

• 6 rounds of chemotherapy - it goes like this:  get a treatment....wait 3 weeks....get another treatment......
• PET Scan this Thursday to see if the cancer has spread anywhere else....he said I have about a 5% chance of that.....I promise you, I'm going to buy a lottery ticket if I fall in that 5%......fingers crossed that they'll be able to give me the results this Friday before they close.
• I'll be radioactive when I leave that appointment and cannot be around the girls for at least 18 hours....so, maybe I'll find myself a nice little hotel.....
• Next Monday or Tuesday, I'll have a 'port' surgically inserted into my upper chest area....this will make it easier on me during the treatments because they won't have to do an IV each time....and I am glad for that!  I hate those things so much.
• Next Thursday, I'll have a follow up appointment with Dr. Butler, I think to check the port and to review the PET Scan
• Radiation will follow the chemotherapy....it will not be a big deal....5 days a week for 6 weeks if I understood it correctly
• Because my lymphnodes were clear and I'm getting chemo and radiation, I will have a little over 10% chance of my cancer recurring
• It is very rare to have a triple negative result on your hormone receptors....and that's what I have....so it limits them as to what medicines they can use on me....but there is a possiblity of a trial that I could participate in that I'll find out more about later.

This morning, I saw a show on TV as I was walking through the house and it grounded me and gave me incredible perspective.  I was already feeling a sense of strength, etc., but I saw children who are facing terrible prognoses and I realized that truly, I am blessed.  I am so sorry that any child and their family has to face what those children were dealing with.....I am thankful that it is me and not someone I love. 

Have you done your self breast exam yet?  Huh?  Huh?  Huh?

Time Line

March 12, 2011
I had a pain in my underarm area...reached up to feel it....and I felt a lump about the size of a hushpuppy.

March 17, 2011
Scheduled a mammogram.

March 18, 2011
Mammogram, Ultrasound, and Biopsy done

March 21, 2011
Got results from the biopsy.
Tumor was malignant.
Inconclusive as to what type of cancer it was.....and what the hormone marker results were.

March 22, 2011
Informally met with a surgeon in my OB's office. 
Jan and Sylvia gave me the warmest greeting you could ever get.
He reviewed my films and recommended a bi-lateral mastectomy "every day of the week and twice on Sunday".
Went to my Dad's house and told him and his wife.  The sound of my Dad's fork hitting his plate punctuated his deep pain at hearing the news. 

March 24, 2011
Met with Dr. Sweatman in his office. 
Met Daphne.
Dr. Sweatman recommended a lumpectomy, sentinel node biopsy, and predicted that
it would be "papillary carcinoma" which would mean I was super fortunate because I would likely not need any chemotherapy or radiation.

March 30, 2011
My case is presented by Dr. Sweatman at the "breast conference" and all 20ish medical professionals in the room agreed that it was probably the best kind of breast cancer, papillary carcinoma, and I would likely only need a lumpectomy.

April 6, 2011
Lumpectomy Outpatient Surgery
Scariest part of all was the nuclear injections that had to be given in such a sensitive area.
Funniest part is that it was done by two men carrying a little metal box that had the radioactive symbol on it - who looked like some people on the show "Modern Family".

April 11, 2011
Pathology Results come back.
Daphne called me very late in the day and lovingly told me the results were not what Dr. Sweatman expected.
Stage 2, High Grade (9 on a scale of 1-9), Invasive Ductal Carcinoma
All 6 Lymphnodes were clear - means it most likely has not spread to other areas of my body
Margins were clear - means they got the whole tumor

April 14, 2011
Follow Up Appointment with Dr. Sweatman
My hormone markers were triple negative which means I am not a candidate for using some of the medicines that they have....so, my two treatment options will be chemo & radiation
He recommends Dr. Butler as my Medical Oncologist (chemo doctor)
Appointment scheduled for this coming Tuesday
*On this day, my Dad became seriously ill due to a blood infection....he was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.  I followed behind, and the giant of chemotherapy was squashed down to an annoying speedbump.  Thanks to Daddy's wife, he got help quickly, and is in the hospital getting better.

April 15, 2011
Shared my news with my students and colleagues and friends and family

Turning on the Lights in the Haunted House of Cancer

This was the metaphor I used with my students yesterday when I shared with them that I had a cancerous tumor removed, and explained how blessed I am to be in the category that I am, just needing treatments.  Telling my students about my situation was one of the biggest moments of my life.  I didn't take it lightly and will never forget it.  Standing in the back of the room with tear filled eyes was my partner, Jakki, along with our Guidance Counselor and our Principal.  I think it went well...I assured the children that I am not contagious, that the cancer was removed, and I am not going to die.  I gave them a check off list of information to remember what I had told them....and let them ask any questions they wanted......they had a letter to take home to their parents.  I hugged each one and told them I loved them.  After the "are you going to lose your hair" question was answered "yes, during the summer"....one of my lively, fun little girls said, "I think you should get a blue afro."  :) 

Telling my teacher friends about 30 minutes later, was another experience I will carry with me forever.  What a special time of encouragement that was to me.  (You should have seen the looks on their faces when my friend and principal opened the conversation - at my request - with, "Angela wants me to share with you that she is going to have twins...." and I asked them if they would support me....and told them that I needed another diaper shower.  The looks were indescribable.)

Telling my family has been an experience beyond words....my family who took this news so seriously and said such loving things.  I treasure your tear filled, angry, supportive, shocked, loving responses.  Truly.  You have already played a part in my recovery.

My cousins, my friends and the friend we have in Mrs. Tanja who takes care of Macy and Molly - you all are so important to me.  MORE than you can know. 

TURNING THE LIGHTS ON IN THE HAUNTED HOUSE OF CANCER
I could preach a sermon right here.  But, I repeat my post title because that's what I've been doing for the three weeks....figuratively, flipping lightswitches.  The day that I found out I had breast cancer, I was standing outside my school building - had stepped out to return the nurse's phone call - and when she explained my biopsy test results, my world slowed to a painful, slow motion, I can't breathe, crawl through clear, thick molasses.  I walked in, called my partner and dear friend my news.  She took a step back, in shock, tears glimmering.  Her support began there and has been SOLID since then along with my teammates.  It was the day before the state PASS Testing, and I was in the middle of a "very important" review before our big writing test.  I stepped down the hall to find my principal...told her...she cried instantly....was angry instantly...and her take-action support began there and has been equally SOLID every moment after.  I walked back to my classroom, finished my PASS Review, and was allowed to leave early.  I drove home, a drive that I did against my will, because I knew that what I was going to tell Charles would change his life forever.  When I walked in, he said, "Are you home early for a GOOD reason?"  I shook my head no, and he knew I had gotten bad results from my biopsy.  While we hugged, I looked at my girls, faced the fact that I may die, and my soul felt like it hit the ground like a ton of bricks. 

So, I did what intelligent women do.  I went to Target, and shopped.  For distractions.  I took Macy with me, and we strolled around for a long time.  For the next couple of days, I tried to process just the idea that I may die and how to approach the acceptance of it.

Many more details could be shared, but...jumping ahead....I started learning through doctor appointments and literature.  One of my first "ligthswitches" was turned on by an angel who lives on this earth.  Her name is Daphne.  I am proud to know her.  She is Dr. Sweatman's nurse who I trust completely and has held my hand, cried with me and captured my heart.   She started to teach me in the most loving way, about my diagnosis.  She treats you as though there is no one else waiting on her and you have her undivided attention and care.  As I started to learn, I started to be less scared.  There were several lightswitches ahead that would get turned on as test results came back.

Dr. Jennifer Risinger, who is praised by people all over our area, immediately upon my diagnosis, began to help connect me with experienced surgeons, knowledge and lightswitches to extinguish fears.  Dr. Risinger wisely doesn't follow the crowd of doctors who are impersonal and don't have time to care about you individually.  She called me at home and called in a favor so that I could speak with a surgeon on just day 2 of my journey.  I love that woman.  And I love the dear friend I have found in her practice, Sylvia.  Sylvia was our sonographer who helped me to see Macy and Molly throughout my pregnancy and we became friends through that process.  She has checked on me repeatedly and I'm so thankful.  There is no other practice like the one run by the ladies of Women's Physician Associates. 

My main point here is - cancer can be a terrible thing and for some it is more than terrible...we all know precious people who were taken from us because of it....... but, if you are fortunate enough to catch it early enough, your story can be one of surviving.  The American Cancer Society statistics show that more than 1/2 of the people diagnosed with cancer survive.  Sometimes, cancer can be just a speedbump.  Please go to your doctor regularly.  Try to be proactive and catch whatever you can early enough to be a lucky duck.

Much love....more later.

Remaining blog posts will NOT be this long!  Had to get this one out.

PS---As I was clicking "publish" on this post, a friend drove up in my driveway.  Macy, Molly and I were on the porch.  She got out of her car, carrying a case of diapers, a case of wipes....and......a duck!  My lucky duck which will go with me to my treatments along with my prayer cross from another dear woman and friend.  Thank you, dear friends.

First Posts are Too Much Pressure!

Um.....I am feeling the need to say all kinds of things, but don't have time.  So, maybe it would be good to say that although I'd like for this blog to be a creative piece of writing, I will have to leave it at the basics because I know that time with my girls is so precious.  So, my posts will probably be pretty simple and to the point.

Already, ALREADY, I have been totally and wonderfully overwhelmed by the responses of my friends and family.  Tears, hugs, and the words "IF YOU NEED ANYTHING". 

For the sake of my Macy and my Molly, I will take you all up on your offers as soon as I know when I will be in need.  I have a little plan for how to coordinate your offers....but, it is not time yet.  My chemotherapy will probably start in mid-May, preferably after Macy and Molly's 1st Birthday Party.  According to my experienced friend, I won't start to feel the fatigue and effects of the medicine until the 2nd or 3rd treatment.  So, strap on your benevolent seatbelts in June.  My treatments may last for months.  I'll find out more about the chemotherapy at my doctor's appointment this Tuesday, April 19. 

I wish you could know how sincerely I mean my "thanks" to you.  More to come!